Man's Search for Meaning
frankl_quote
This is the title of one of my favourite books of all time, written by Viktor Frankl, a great mind and a remarkable human being, who survived the worst of the Holocaust only to come to the conclusion that, even in the worst of circumstances, we are still free to choose our destiny.
Frankl was an Austrian Jew, a professor with a more than promising career in psychiatry, who refused an offer to emigrate to the US when the Second World War broke out because his parents had not been granted permission to leave Austria and he felt he couldn't abandon them. This brave choice led him to a gruelling 3 year journey in the Nazi death camps, where he sat next to his father as he died and then lost both his wife and mother.
He survived through a combination of unique attitude and a series of fortunate circumstances, or, as some may say, dumb luck - although I believe there was nothing dumb about his luck.
He witnessed people becoming noting more than animals in their fierce struggle for survival in the camps. Inmates torturing inmates or robbing them of their last piece of bread only to prolong their own existence a little while more. But, amazingly, he also witnessed people becoming heroes, creating a meaning for themselves in that meaningless circumstance by helping others, often at a risk or even at the cost of their own lives.
What is the difference between them? Between the brutes and the heroes?
His answer to this was that we, humans, have both these potentials in us. We can become brutes or heroes and the only thing that creates this difference is our own free will. We have a choice. Even when all other freedoms have been taken away from us, he said, we can still choose our attitude in front of those circumstances.
Frankl's legacy to mankind, which he built in his very long life post death-camps (he lived to be 92 years old) is his discovery, in the most atrocious of circumstances, of people's fundamental need for meaning in their lives. He noticed that inmates who had a dream, something to live for, a purpose, tended to survive longer, while others who resigned and gave up died much quicker.
A life without meaning is an empty life. And sadly few of us, modern people, living in comfort and whose worst struggles are our stressful jobs or 30 year mortgages, stop to think about this.
I am sometimes overwhelmed by the degree of unhappiness I see all around me every day. I am tired of hearing people blame everyone else for their life's misfortunes or personal frustrations. It is never our fault that we are unhappy. We are out of luck, or had a bad childhood or a bad relationship or have a lousy job with an annoying boss and we can't quit because "who's going to pay the bills?".
I have a friend who amazingly told me she'd rather be fired from her job, that's how much she hates it, but she won't quit herself because she's too afraid. She'd rather have others take that decision for her. Of course she won't be fired soon, because incidentally she's too good at doing that job she loathes and they really appreciate her where she works - so Destiny is making her bear it just a little bit longer, perhaps she finally learns her lesson. She made me think that getting fired can actually be a blessing, if you choose to look at it that way.
I have heard countless excuses for not living, for not enjoying, for not sharing, for not smiling, for not listening and for not loving. "I don't have time" and "it's too late" are just two of the most frequent ones.
My invitation to you in this post is to ask yourselves What is the meaning of your life? Why do you wake up in the morning? Why do you do the things you do every day? How many of them truly bring you joy and truly have a meaning for you? How many of them are you doing just for others' sake? How often to you think you are powerless, choice-less, nothing but a victim? How often have you thought it's too late to try something new or chase that long awaiting dream? What if you weren't that powerless and what if it weren't that late? What would you do then? Why don't you do it now? I promise you it will be worth the effort to think about these questions. For me, they were life changing.
I know the internet is full of inspirational quotes people use to feed their hopes just a little bit longer. Sadly few people really act on those messages they enjoy so much. You know, things like "NOW is all you have, enjoy it!" or "Follow your dreams" are not meant to be mere pretty posters or screen savers to the laptop you're using to build excel sheets and monthly reports in that grey cubicle every day! These are things to be lived, not just "liked" on Facebook.
I am not saying that working in a cubicle is bad. It's only bad if you hate it because it's bad for you, your mind, your soul and it's preventing you from living the life that's screaming out at you and you are now ignoring. Doing things you hate, being someone you're not - all in the name of conformity and all motivated by fear - is preventing you from bringing that gift, which is uniquely yours, into this world.
One final question for you: What is your unique creative gift?
If you have no idea, don't worry, you're not the only one. So here's one more question: What can you do to find out?
Perhaps ask for advice from a trusted friend? Read some more good books to give you ideas? Take a strengths test? None of that or many more?
Enough questions for today. Any thoughts from you, as always, are very welcome. I wish you all loads of inspiration, followed by action :)!