Alis Anagnostakis

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The Magic of Forgiveness

Sounds funny, doesn't it? Funny word!

I heard about Ho'oponopono from a good friend of mine recently and, apart from the weird sound of it and a short explanation on my friend's part about it being an ancient healing practice, I forgot all about it. Then, as it usually does lately, synchronicity intervened.

Today I met a new coaching client, a very nice young woman who had written to me asking for my support with some personal issues that she is currently going through. We talked about many things and, among others, we talked about forgiveness and how difficult it is to give to others, as well as to yourself. For some reason the discussion with her left me in a very meditative state, that awkward feeling I get right when I'm about to discover something new or get a fresh insight. I never know where the insight is going to come, but it always comes from the most surprising sources.

I got home and took a quick look on Facebook and one post stood out: "Ho'oponopono meditation for the healing of Earth's waters". To join this world-wide group meditation you only needed to do one thing - repeat the mantra: "I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you." 

For some strange reason I felt a compulsion to look it up and find out more. What I learnt is that Ho'oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. Islanders in the South Pacific believed that all people and things were interconnected and whenever an imbalance appeared - a disease, a conflict - forgiveness was needed to restore order and balance. Anger and secrecy (repressed emotions) were believed to be major causes of illness - and modern research in the impact of negative emotions on health supports the ancient's beliefs. Sadly few "modern" people acknowledge and are open to these truths which were common knowledge hundreds or even thousands of years ago.

Ho'oponopono was initially a group ceremony, performed by a "kahuna" (healing or praying priest), bringing families together (particularly when one member was ill) and putting tough subjects on the table, letting hard feelings come out in the open. The kahuna was essentially a facilitator of dialogue within the family, helping members discuss troubling matters and offer forgiveness to each-other. It sounds a lot like an early form of family counselling and I truly feel many of us might well use a "kahuna" around our family, to help discuss painful things before they turn into a disease, either figuratively or, often sadly, literally.

Later on, pioneers such as Morrnah Simeona, one of the last recognised healers (kahuna) of Hawaii, adapted the old practices to modern times. Today Ho'oponopono can roughly be viewed as a way to make peace with oneself and others and restore the inner balance needed to lead a healthy, happy and fulfilling life, a life where your deepest potential is not hindered by un-necessary emotional blocks.

I even found a beautiful Ho'oponopono song which speaks about the magic of forgiveness in this age-old practice:

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Reading about Ho'oponopono, which, in Hawaiian means "to correct" or "to make right" I thought about all the unhappiness in our lives which might be overcome if only we stopped thinking of ourselves as "separate" and of external circumstances "happening to us".

I, as all those who read my blog already know, don't believe in "recipes" for happiness, nor will I ever be the advocate of one single "right" way for a happy and fulfilling life. However, I am always fascinated when I find a new thinking system, a new self-exploration practice that can teach me something new about myself or offer a fresh way to look at the world. I am also fascinated that most ancient spiritual practices have common themes - and the theme of "separation" versus "inter-connectedness" seems to be one of these recurrent ideas.

Even if you are not drawn to any particular spiritual practice, I invite you to reflect on the idea the you might well have a responsibility in everything that happens to you, that every event in your life, good or bad, is nothing more than another lesson to learn. I urge you to ask yourself a few questions that might well offer you a new perspective on your life and current setbacks.

What if you stopped thinking of yourself as a victim of unfortunate circumstances and started thinking of yourself as the owner of your own life?

What if you, even for a moment, believed others' behaviours towards you are mere reflections of your beliefs and behaviours towards them?

What if you took one step further and took a few minutes every day to bring into mind all the people who have done you wrong on that day and offer them forgiveness?

What if you were not afraid to say: I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love You. - and thus honour all those to whom you have done wrong and heal your own perception of the relationship with them?

And finally, what if you made it a habit to offer forgiveness and love to yourself?